Life….Mother’s Day

7 05 2010

LIfe…..it isn’t always easy….it isn’t always fun…….it sometimes the most amazing thing…..sometimes you are at a loss for words…..sometimes you just don’t know what to do….sometimes everything just comes so easy…..sometimes life is just plain HARD.

Yes, it is Mother’s Day weekend!  Now, why would I start a post off like this on Mother’s Day?  Well, that is how I am feeling.  It has only been about 2 weeks sence Brigette was buried.  Her life is so fresh in my mind.  Her children’s faces are still etched in my mind.  Holding sweet Maryland is so fresh in my mind, she is such a sweet baby let me tell you.  It was looking in Brigette’s face!  Oh, what a joy that was.

Life….is well, life.  There will be some very hard days, weeks and years at times.   This year is one of those.  Tears flow from my face as I write this.  Brigette’s death will be a moment in my life…it will be a sad time for me.  But for her children it will shape who they will be!  It will become an event that will mark everything they ever do!  They will always wonder what she was like, her smile, her laugh, her joy.  This Mother’s Day I can only think about what it must be like for them.

This moment in my life is pushing me to be a better mommy.  Brigette’s memory is living on in my children as well.  She was one of the most amazing mamas I have ever known.  She loved her children more and did soooo much with her little ones.  She was kind and gentle.  She was sweet and loving.  She was fun and creative.  She loved being a mommy!   This makes me wonder about myself as a mommy.  Do I show how much I love it to my children?  or do I complain about the laundry or the chores?  I want my children to know they are the most amazing gifts from God. I want them to know that I love them, that I care of them ( not because I have to, but because I love doing this job called mommy!).

I wanted to post some pictures I took at Brigette’s funeral.  I wanted her children to see how many people loved their mommy, who still love her so much.

HEre is sweet Georgia and her papa.  25 pink balloons were released, one for each year of her life.

Montana, an awesome young man!  Brigette’s oldest.

I love this picture of Georgia.  She is skipping at the burial site with a flower from her mama’s casket, an angel from the casket and a ribbon that said “mommy” on it.  What a picture of innocence.

Sweet baby Maryland with 2 flowers from her mama’s casket.

Life is so hard.  But let me tell you something….my God is great.  My God is faithful.  My God is good.  My God is comfort.  My God is a healer.  My God is amazing.  My God is the father to the fatherless (or motherless).  My God will take care of His children.  My God will provide.

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How are we doing mamas?

10 12 2009

Something has been on my heart lately.  How am I doing about showing thankfulness and happiness to my children and to those who are lost.  Do I complain about the size of my house? Or do I praise God about our home no matter the size? Do I complain about all the laundry I have to do or do I praise God that I have 5 wonderful people to be doing laundry for?  Am I thankful that we have a warm home and lots of warm clothes to wear in this very cold weather (3 degrees today) or do I complain about how cold it is?  Do I thank God my husband has a job or do I complain that he isn’t home enough?  Am I thankful that we have a T.V and stations or am I discontent that we don’t have a certain sports station or TLC?  Do I praise God that we have laughter, toys on the floor and little feet scampering about the house?  Do I thank God that we have food in the fridge even if it isn’t what I want to eat that night or I am complaining about what we have been given?  Do I thank God for the people He has given us to serve or do I hope to be somewhere else? 

The list can go on and on and on and on and on…..you get the point. 

How are we doing mamas about showing our children how great our GOD is?  Do they hear us complain so much that they don’t think our God is taking care of us?  Are we so unthankful that they don’t want to serve this powerful God?  Our children are watching us!  They will see if we are unhappy and discontent!  They will follow our lead.  “When mama aint happy aint nobody happy” is an old saying, but is VERY true too.

When we do our chores around the house do we say “thank you God for beds to make, we could be sleeping on the ground.  Thank you God that we have good doctors to get Owen better.  Lord you are great to provide us with 3 meals a day and snacks!”  or do our children hear “If I have to fold one more load of laundry, I am sick of this food I want to go out to eat, why can’t we have more money to go out?, I am sick of these toys all over the floors!”

What kind of heart do we have?  What kind of life are we showing to our children and those who are lost?  Would they (our children and those who are lost) even want to hear about our God after spending time with us?  Do we praise Him, respect Him and cherish Him above all. Do we thank Him for all things in all circumstances?

Let us remember that we have little ones watching us!  Let them know that our God is big and supplies all our needs and has taken great care of us!





Miscarriage

16 07 2009

Many of you know that we had a miscarriage back in November of this past year.  We would have been holding our sweet blessing sometime next week (our due date would have been next Friday).  We will have to wait until glory to hold that sweet baby…or will it be a grown child?  I don’t understand all of that, but I know that God has promises and they are always kept.

Maybe that is why I am so excited for Champ to get here.  We are 33 weeks and I know that the baby is NOT ready to be born yet.  But in my heart I feel like I have been preg. for a long time.  We were 5 weeks when we lost our baby and then we were preg. again within a couple weeks.  Making me feel like I have been preg. for almost 9 months already.

My heart still longs for the sweet baby we won’t get to meet here on Earth, but will have to wait until glory to meet.  That seems so far away to me right now!

I didn’t know how I would feel about a miscarriage or how I would deal with it.  I don’t think about it most days, but on days like this I think about it.  Days when I know we would be delivering or would have already delivered.  Also, my dear dear friend and I would have been due the same week.  She is due on Monday and I keep thinking what it would be like to be preg. with her!  God knows my heart, He knows my needs and wants!  He knows what is best and He knows why in His perfect wisdom He had to take a baby away from us.  I can only trust in Him and His timing and not my own.  It can just be hard on the heart sometimes!





Santa?

23 12 2008

It is that time of year again when people start to ask my children….What is Santa going to bring you? or Are you excited about Santa? 

This year it is harder to direct my children’s attention in a mall or store.  We don’t want anyone feeling bad for asking our children or have other children over hear us.  At the store the other day Isaac responded by saying “We don’t do Santa mam, we celebrate Jesus’ birthday.”  The lady was a little confused at first, but then gave him a big smile.  In the car Isaac told me….”Mommy, I am glad I told that lady the truth, now she knows I love Jesus.”  It was so sweet!

Here is a link to my post last year about Santa for those who would like to know why we don’t do Santa.





Life Continues….

19 12 2008

Even when you are sad, happy, confussed and loonley snowed in, life continues. This week has been a very emotional week. I have cried more than I would like.

Say goodbyes to friends was so hard to do! Still remembering the miscarriage has been really hard this week. Moving the kids to a new state has been going fairly well. They asked if Ballard, McKay, Dylan and Nathan could come and play in the new 10 inches (we already had 4 inches when I got here). I had to explain that those friends are too far away to come and play.

Please pray for us. The church here has been presented with the position for Dave, but the actual vote doesn’t take place until the first week of January because of all the holidays etc. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years has pushed everything a little crazy. Which means we are homeless (staying at my moms until the house we are renting is ready, which is just after New Years) and technically jobless (well, 1/2 jobless, Dave is still in Louisville at UPS and waiting for the transfer).

We are just waiting and hanging out for God’s timing! Pray for our transition and emotions as we choose to be happy even when it is so hard to be.

I have just been thinking a lot on becoming a mom of 4.  I want more children so badly, but at the same time I don’t want to lose a child again either.  I don’t know if we just aren’t ready or if God is trying to push us another direction.  Dave and I have always considered adoption and have always wanted to.  If we have our 4th child then we would be closed to many countries.  They will not give children to families that have 4 or more children.  We have thought about adopting our 4th baby, then quickly getting pregnant with our 5th after the approval so that I could nurse both babies.  We just feel that an adopted baby would really need that good milk.

Oh I don’t know why I am writing this, maybe just to get my thoughts out so that I can read them and pray about them.  I just think that this miscarriage was telling me something, teaching me something.  I don’t want this child’s life to go unnoticed or unloved.  Does that even make sense?  Please tell me if I am just grieving and it will get better?





12 12 2008
The Family

The Family

 

Dave and his parents

Dave and his parents

The kids were so excited for their daddy

The kids were so excited for their daddy

The Hood

The Hood

Here are some pics of graduation….my camera stoped working, but  my mom has some good ones I need to get from here.  Also, it was really dark to try to and get pictures of them sitting in their seats etc.  Enjoy!




Perseverance

11 12 2008

Perseverance…what does that mean?  I feel that God has shown this character trait in my husband.  Dave has worked so hard over the past 8 years and I am so proud of him and all that the Lord has done in his life.  He stuck it out when times got difficult.

At 18 Dave graduated high school and became engaged (to me of course).  A young man with a heart to be married young and succeed in life…two things that society says doesn’t happen often.  We had so many people say that he would never finish school, he would drop out etc.  Dave said no that would not happen.  We wait 1.5 years to marry and at the age of 20 he and I married.  At the age of 21 he became a father.  Then only 3 months later he graduated with his Bachelors.  He then moved us to Louisville, Ky to dedicated himself to the learning all that he could about ministry so that he could effectively serve Christ in His church.  A year into seminary he became a father again at the age of 23.  He still continued to work hard to provide for us and study.  Two years later and we have our second son at the age of 25.  Now at the age of 26 he is graduating with his Master of Divinity.  He has given so much to us as a father and husband and still has been able to receive his degree.

My husband has persevered when it was hard and I mean HARD.  God continued to give him strength and direction.  He gave up sleep, sports, free time and fun to be the father and husband we needed.  He made sure our needs were met before his own.  He loved us enough to give up everything he had for us.  At Christmas or birthdays he would give me all the gift cards or money he has received and told me to get what the kids and I needed.  He never went and bought things he wanted, he made sure the needs were met first in our home.  He made sure his children knew who he was and that they are loved by him.

I am so proud to say I am his wife! I am so thankful for the man that God gave to me to lead our home and someday lead His church.  God used Dave a young husband and father to do what society says doesn’t happen.  We can’t count the times we were told…if you have kids you won’t finish school or if you do this you won’t get your degree. 

We are so thankful to God for His direction in our lives and home.

Congratulations Dave!  I am so proud of you!  Tomorrow is the BIG day and I can’t wait to see you walk on that stage, I know that I will have tears in my eyes because for a brief moment I will get to see you receive a piece of paper you have worked so long and hard for.  What I can’t wait to see is all the knowledge you bring into a church…that is what I look forward to.  I can’t wait to see how God will use that “piece of paper” for His glory for years to come.