1 year………Oh how I miss you….

18 04 2011

Brigette, I can’t believe it has been 1 year. Oh how I miss you so much.  Many of the days are so long, but the year has flown by.  Your smile is missed, your voice is missed, your energy is missed, your meer presence in a room is missed.  You are dearly missed.  These past few weeks have been so hard….remembering all that had gone on.  The count down to Maryland birth….the amazing birth…wow, such a sweet little girl.  Then only 2 week later your life ending, your smile gone from us on Earth forever.  Your girls are so beautiful. I am so thankful for Facebook, Bobby keeps us all updated with pics and cute quotes.  Montana is so big!  I can’t believe he is 10 years old nad what a baseball player he is.

Brigette, there are so many things I don’t understand about life.  One of those is the life of a very young mother with 3 children leaving this world.  Things I do know are…God is good, God is in control and we live in a fallen world with lots of pain and tears.  The realities of this make me want to see Heaven that much more. 

Brigette, you are missed. YOu are loved and you were an amazing mother and wife.    So many days I just sit and think of our times together and how much I long to hear your very happy voice on the other end of the phone. I love you and miss you!

Vacations…(part 2)

9 09 2010

Owen with sweet baby Leila

Ethan and Leila say……” We love when the Wheatley, Ayers and Ferraros get together.”

We have had a great summer with our family.  In late July me and the kids made a visit to Louisville to see some friends.  We had a great time, as we always do!  There was a lot of swimming….lots of games….lots of laughs….lots of fun!!!!

Owen loved having the water thrown in his face

The 6 year olds....Isaac, Dylan and Ballard

The 5 year olds....Gracelyn, Nathan and McKay

The 5 year olds……Gracelyn, Nathan and McKay

The babies.....Haley, Ethan and Leila

The 3 year olds....(In two pics, some how I missed getting one of all 3 boys)....Jaden and Owen

Owen and Edward

The whole group....the best picture you are going to get with 12 children 6 and under 🙂

 We had such a great time!  We thank the Wheatley’s for allowing us to stay with them.  I truly love this friendship between us.  God has given me some wonderful friends!  I praise Him.


27 07 2010

It is a crazy thing.  It comes and goes in waves, it lasts for a long time or only a moment.  It can be so strong you break out in tears or it can come on so soft and sweet it brings a smile to your face as you remember the person you lost.  These past few weeks have been like that.  

Brigette has been gone for 3 months now….can it really be 3 months already?   Some days it feels like that can’t be, but other days it feels like it should be years.  The  feelings come and go. My heart breaks as I write this…I see my mom standing in my kitchen.  She has come over very late ….about 10:30 or so.  She didn’t even make it 3 steps into my house when I knew something VERY bad had happened.  Her face was the same it was when she told me my great grandma has died.  The news that came from her mouth almost knocked me over.  Now you maybe wondering how my mom knew this news.  Well, my old boss from KY called the only number she had….my mom’s.  She called her because she was afraid I was home alone (without Dave) and she didn’t want me to hear the news.

The news hit hard.  I had just talked to her, she had just e mailed me about cloth diapers.  She was a friend that you could just call up and continue from where you left off…. no matter how long it had been.  Today I was going through my phone looking up another friends number when I saw Brigette’s. I almost called it!  How could I do that? It has been 3 months!  But my heart sometimes forgets.  I can’t seem to bring myself to delete it yet.  I guess that is part of grief…..somethings are just hard to do.

My heart has been breaking so much these past few weeks because….. Brigette would have been 26.  Our birthdays were 10 days apart….oh how I miss her.  Everyone that knew her saw her love for her children and her husband.  She was an amazing mother, wife, friend, sister and daughter. 


Oh how I want to see your smile, hear your voice and hold your children in my arms.  I get to see them on facebook and that is such a joy.  To see Bobby being an amazing dad!  You would be soooo proud of him.  I can’t bring myself to see your burial site again…..it just hurts my heart so much.  But then again, the strangest things will set me off sometimes.  I miss you so much girl, you were so loved and still are.  YOur life shouldn’t be over….but it is. I can’t change that, oh how I wish I could sometimes.

I love and miss you!

Update….long time needed

1 06 2009

Well, we are really needing a family update.  Let me start with….we are still finishing up homeschooling for this year, so we have been a little busy. 

I will start with Isaac.  He is doing awesome!  Reading has clicked with him and he is reading a lot of short sentences and stories etc.  His world is wide open now and he really likes that.  He is a typical 5 year old…trying to figure out social circles and friends.  He is still adjusting to our move and making friends is coming slowly.  This is not a bad thing….sometimes the slow moving friendships are the ones that last.  He is in Tee-Ball and loves it!  He has quite an arm on him and is getting much better at batting.  His hand and eye coordination has improved so much from last season.  We are really proud of him.

Isaac batting at his first game of the season.

Isaac batting at his first game of the season.


Isaac on Easter morning

Isaac on Easter morning

On mother's day with the mirror the kids made for me.

On mother's day with the mirror the kids made for me.

Grace is 4 years old today!  I can’t believe how fast she has grown.  She is becoming such a sweet child.  6 months ago we didn’t know if what we were doing as parents was working with her.  She cried a lot and was VERY sassy.  But by God’s grace she is really coming around to be such a wonderful little girl.  She loves babies and art.  She wants to do her hair, pick out her clothes and of course her shoes!  She really wants to do dance class so we will be getting her in a class in the fall.  What a great little girl….Happy Birthday Gracelyn, mommy and daddy love you so much!  We thank God that He choose to give you life and what a miracle you are.

Grace with her princess Easter eggs.

Grace with her princess Easter eggs.

Grace with her princess gear on.

Grace with her princess gear on.

MOmmy and Grace on mother's Day.

MOmmy and Grace on mother's Day.


Owen is growing up!  He is almost 23 months old and is one of the sweetest little boys when he isn’t trying to assert his own will.  He is in a twin bed now and will start potty training tomorrow morning.  It will be a long 3 days, so please pray for us, but God has always been faithful with this area for us and it has gone quick.  I pray it goes that way with him as well.  He LOVES baseball and cars.  He is such a funny little guy.  Now that he has had his new tubes in his years he is talking so much!  He is putting together words and sentences and dropping most of his signing.  He was doing about 60 signs, but now only uses them when needed!!!  That is awesome!  He is very happy to kiss my growing belly and sing to the baby when asked to.

Owen in his new bed!

Owen in his new bed!

Owen on Easter Morning.

Owen on Easter Morning.

Owen doing his eggs...look at that red hair.

Owen doing his eggs...look at that red hair.


Baby Champ is growing as well.  We are almost 27 weeks and moving along pretty well.  I am growing and finally really feeling this baby move.  Our placenta is in the front this time making the movements of the baby harder to feel.  But the baby is growing and is much stronger now so we are feeling it!  The kids love to talk to Champ and sing as well.  This baby will be well loved when it is welcomed into our home.

Here I am at almost 24 weeks.

Here I am at almost 24 weeks.


Now here at some pics of the kids…..

Owen playing baseball

Owen playing baseball

Picture 103

Grace with her Kentucky friends.  Grace, McKay, Jaden and Nathan

Grace with her Kentucky friends. Grace, McKay, Jaden and Nathan

Isaac with his Kentucky friends...Ballard, Dylon and Isaac

Isaac with his Kentucky friends...Ballard, Dylon and Isaac

Brody (cousin), Isaac, Mac (cousin) and Gracelyn eating ice cream.

Brody (cousin), Isaac, Mac (cousin) and Gracelyn eating ice cream.

Life Continues….

19 12 2008

Even when you are sad, happy, confussed and loonley snowed in, life continues. This week has been a very emotional week. I have cried more than I would like.

Say goodbyes to friends was so hard to do! Still remembering the miscarriage has been really hard this week. Moving the kids to a new state has been going fairly well. They asked if Ballard, McKay, Dylan and Nathan could come and play in the new 10 inches (we already had 4 inches when I got here). I had to explain that those friends are too far away to come and play.

Please pray for us. The church here has been presented with the position for Dave, but the actual vote doesn’t take place until the first week of January because of all the holidays etc. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years has pushed everything a little crazy. Which means we are homeless (staying at my moms until the house we are renting is ready, which is just after New Years) and technically jobless (well, 1/2 jobless, Dave is still in Louisville at UPS and waiting for the transfer).

We are just waiting and hanging out for God’s timing! Pray for our transition and emotions as we choose to be happy even when it is so hard to be.

I have just been thinking a lot on becoming a mom of 4.  I want more children so badly, but at the same time I don’t want to lose a child again either.  I don’t know if we just aren’t ready or if God is trying to push us another direction.  Dave and I have always considered adoption and have always wanted to.  If we have our 4th child then we would be closed to many countries.  They will not give children to families that have 4 or more children.  We have thought about adopting our 4th baby, then quickly getting pregnant with our 5th after the approval so that I could nurse both babies.  We just feel that an adopted baby would really need that good milk.

Oh I don’t know why I am writing this, maybe just to get my thoughts out so that I can read them and pray about them.  I just think that this miscarriage was telling me something, teaching me something.  I don’t want this child’s life to go unnoticed or unloved.  Does that even make sense?  Please tell me if I am just grieving and it will get better?

Coming to an end? Can it really be?

20 11 2008

Well, I am in shock that Seminary is coming to a close.  In just a few short weeks my husband will make his way across the stage to receive his diploma.  This has been kind of hard to believe.  Seminary has been a time of growth for us, not only spiritual but physically and emotionally as well.  Our family has grown while here, and this is the only home they have ever known.

We arrived here with a 3 month old baby.  Neither one of us had ever been away from “home”.  We were married young and here we were 22 and 23 years old.  We were still learning to be parents and had lots of questions, but no one to answer them.  I am really close to my family and didn’t know if I was going to make it those first 6 months.  Then God brought two wonderful dear friends into my life.  Michelle and Rebekah become the people that I needed.  We were all here for the first time.

Then this place started to become home.  We bought our first home, we added another baby and then another baby.  We knew the streets in and out, we knew our Church family so well.  This place had become our home.  We made more friends, we shared in their lives and they shared in our lives.  They have left their mark in our hearts and lives forever.

Now, it seems to be coming to an end.  It seemed so far away at the beginning of this semester, but now it seems to be here so quickly!  We are packing up boxes and books, books and more books.  I never could have imagined how many books we would leave here with!!!!  We are making plans for our place of ministry.  (I can’t wait to be able to post about it here soon).

Please be in prayer for us as we end our time here.  We will have many sad goodbyes said and many joyful tears as we think about the fun we have had.  Please pray for God’s wisdom in our job situation.  Dave is needing a transfer with UPS and the first attempt was denied.  The second attempted will go in early next week, please pray for us in this.

Food Swap

14 10 2008

Okay ladies….I did this thing called a “food swap” a few weeks ago and I LOVED it!  It was so easy…and so much fun too!

This is how it went….we had 6 ladies that got together and each of us brought 2-3 dinner recipes that could be frozen (examples….stuffed pasta shells, chicken pot pie etc.)

Each of us took a vote on which of the 2-3 recipes we liked best of each persons.  (we thought of what our family would like and variety of the group).

Then we set a date to do a swap….we all went home and made our recipe that the group chose 6 times.  We put each one in a freezer bag and labeled it with the food and how to cook it.  We put them in the freezer.  For example I made stuffed shells with spaghetti sauce…I had 6 of them made in my freezer in freezer bags.

On the day of the swap each woman brought their meals.  We all brought them in coolers.  We then handed one meal per person.  After the swap I went home with 5 different meals…6 total, one which was the one I made.  I now have a weeks worth of meals in my freezer!

It saved so much money because I was able to buy the ingredients for my meal in bulk!  It saved so much time because it only took me 2 hours to make my meal, but I have a weeks worth of food in my freezer!  It was fun!  We had a great time picking out our meals, talking and having a good old time.

Here are some tips:

1. Try to have all the woman in your group have the same size families.  We all have 4-5 in our families so our meals are all about the same size.

2. Pick a variety of recipes.  This way you have Mexican, Italian, American etc. to eat during that week.

3. Make sure everyone is up front about what they do and don’t like.  You don’t want someone going home with a meal their family just won’t eat.

4. Try to make the meals all cost about the same amount of money.  I think that 6-8 meals should only cost you about 30-35 dollars.  (Remember you get to buy in bulk!).

5. Decide as a group what a “meal” is.  Our group decided that we would only make the main dish.  You may choose main dish + side item or main dish+dessert or all three.