Miscarriage

16 07 2009

Many of you know that we had a miscarriage back in November of this past year.  We would have been holding our sweet blessing sometime next week (our due date would have been next Friday).  We will have to wait until glory to hold that sweet baby…or will it be a grown child?  I don’t understand all of that, but I know that God has promises and they are always kept.

Maybe that is why I am so excited for Champ to get here.  We are 33 weeks and I know that the baby is NOT ready to be born yet.  But in my heart I feel like I have been preg. for a long time.  We were 5 weeks when we lost our baby and then we were preg. again within a couple weeks.  Making me feel like I have been preg. for almost 9 months already.

My heart still longs for the sweet baby we won’t get to meet here on Earth, but will have to wait until glory to meet.  That seems so far away to me right now!

I didn’t know how I would feel about a miscarriage or how I would deal with it.  I don’t think about it most days, but on days like this I think about it.  Days when I know we would be delivering or would have already delivered.  Also, my dear dear friend and I would have been due the same week.  She is due on Monday and I keep thinking what it would be like to be preg. with her!  God knows my heart, He knows my needs and wants!  He knows what is best and He knows why in His perfect wisdom He had to take a baby away from us.  I can only trust in Him and His timing and not my own.  It can just be hard on the heart sometimes!

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