Servant for Him

I just finished a book by Carol Kent called When I Lay My Isaac Down.  This has been one of the hardest books I have ever had to read.  This book brought so many emotions with it that it was hard to get through it.  It is a true story about Carol Kent (the famous writer and Christian speaker) whose only son commits a murder.  He murders the ex-husband of his wife.  He was afraid that if his two step daughters were given unsupervised visits with their father they would be sexually molested.  In anger and fear he shot and killed the man.  Should he had done that? NO.

This book is about the situation, the trial and the way God has taught Carol to “Lay her Isaac down” on the alter and accept any circumstance that was to follow.  If you don’t know the story of Isaac in the New Testament he is a little bit of it:   Isaac was the promised son of Abraham and Sarah.  God promised to make Abraham a great nation through his son Isaac.  But God then tells Abraham to take Isaac up on the mountain and lay him on the Alter and sacrifice him.  Abraham follows the directions, but when he has Isaac tied to the alter and the knife raised God sends an angel and stops him.  The angel then tells Abraham that he passed the test because he was willing to give his promised son back to God.  God then supplies a ram in the bushes for him to sacrifice.

Carol writes about how she has had to “lay her Isaac down” (meaning her son) to God’s bigger picture even through there is no ram in the bushes.  “Isaac” in the book refers to any circumstance or thing that happens in our lives that doesn’t seem to make sense to us, but still happens.  A death of a loved one, murder, prison, rape, miscarriage, loss of a job, loss of a home etc.  The list can go on and on.

This book hit hard because I totally see our family in this book right now.  Alex Letkemann is in prison for a horrible murder, he came from a wonderful family (regardless of what you may have read), he is a loved son, brother, cousin and grandson.  I know that God has plans for his life, I don’t doubt that for a second!  Do I understand it all? NO! Do I wish we could go back and redo that day in November? YES!  Do I believe that God is teaching many of the people in our family how to “Lay Down our Isaac’s”? YES!

For us it is learning to give up the control over to God.  We can not “help” Alex get out of this situation.  We can love him and pray for him, but we can not control the outcome.  For my Aunt and Uncle, I can only imagine the “Isaac’s” they are having to lay down.  I imagine they are the Hopes of the future they always imagined, they are loss of his “prime” adult life to prison, the control over the situation and the guilt of that night. 

Do I understand it all? NO, But I will pray that God’s larger plan is carried out and that I am here obey him at any moment.  Please continue to pray for our family and for Alex.  He will be moving to his permanent prison home shortly we think.  Please pray for protection and for our family as we go through a year of “firsts” without him there.

Thank you.